PARIS' SNATCH
page AUSTIN That is, that picture, that is the golden...thing, right there, is what that is - Chalice! That’s theHoly Grail. The end of the rainbow, my friend. Pot of gold. Not an evil leprechaunguarding it in sight. ALISON Really? Looks to me like a couple of shy beavers peeking out from behind a curtain. And the bucktooth one needs a little trim. AUSTIN Ha-ha-ha, she said “trim.” ALISON Austin? Are you that starved for a little action? AUSTIN That’s Britney Spears. Let me just say that. ALISON Really? AUSTIN And the little box next to her is Paris Hilton. ALISON No way! AUSTIN Way. ALISON How did you get this? AUSTIN Walking by that thing, that Fashion Week thing, the one sponsored by Google. ALISON And they were just getting out of a limo? Together? AUSTIN There was this group of paparazzi and I couldn’t get by, so I kind of walked into the street,where a fuckin’ douche bag yakking on his bluetooth in a Prius (oh, you’re so advanced)almost ran me over. But I took out my Treo, you know, in case there was a shot to be shot.Or, acutally, I thought I’d just shoot the paparazzi and post it on MySpace, you know, kindof a “look how gross these people can be” kind of thing. ALISON Right. AUSTIN And I’m lining up the shot when the door opens on the street side. The street side, can youbelieve it? And there’s Paris and Britney scooting out to run past me into the buildingacross the street, but like, Paris drops her Blackberry, or Sidekick, no Blackberry andhollers for Britney to hold up and the paparazzi start to run around the car, so they dart out,towards me and that’s when I shoot the shot. Click. Pussy, pussy. |
